The Sun struck Translator
Gazing backwards and forwards between the translation which is not even nearly about to be hot off the press, and the wonderful sunshine which is shouting “run Sam, be off with you, throw that long and tedious text to one side. Run to the park, throw your picnic blanket on the ground and surrender to a lazy day of sunbathing and ice-teas”, I realize the coming summer is going to be no walk in the park.
OK a translator’s survivor guide to the summer is needed here, so here goes:
10 Hot Tips for Surviving the Summer
- The first and most important tip for surviving your “summer of translations” is to begin by printing this list & putting it in all places of that you are likely to be tempted away from that little money making freelance empire of yours.
- Buy yourself a nice set of dark curtains similar to those of blackout curtains so as not to be tempted by that beautiful bright blue sky gazing through your window.
- Sensor your viewing on Twitter – there is bound to be some smart-arse twitting away on his iPhone from some exotic destination, unable to keep his mouth shut about the tenth cocktail he’s just about to guzzle down by the pool.
- Get up bright & early every morning, dash into a nice tepid shower, throw on the brightest shorts and t-shirt you have – you may as well start the day imagining you’re going to the beach.
- Treat every night like any other “school night” – don’t be tempted by the invites to garden parties, BBQs etc. trust me – just because the evenings are pleasantly and mildly enticing – they will only lead into temptation of the non-productive kind.
- Avoid translations of a “summer nature” for example instructions for choosing and applying sun-cream or on how to erect your beach tent are a big no – a real danger are those pesky instruction leaflets for blowing up that dinghy!
- Keeping a bowl of tepid salty water and a tray of sand under your desk at all times can help with creating the sensation that you are actually by the sea whilst at the same time earning that well needed cash.
- Treat yourself every night to a long cool cocktail, preferably with a few of those cheerful little umbrellas, a glacier cherry or two, plenty of crushed ice but remember no alcohol – you have that 50,000 word translation in the morning.
- Utter precaution when opening emails is needed at all times – I mean to say you don’t want those 75% off last minute all-inclusive deals to far off destinations mocking you from your mail-box do you?
- What are you still doing here? Surely that measly 0,02 centimes is not worth missing out on that glorious sunshine – you may not be able to get far on what you’ve earned so far this year, but hey hell a tan costs nothing & it sure makes you feel better!